I recently just found out, through facebook, that one of my friends is engaged to be married. While cruising through his wall noting all the congratulations, I thought to myself "shit I have to give a facebook congrats" instead of the public wall post I decided to send him one though a private message and follow up with a phone call which...
Continue reading "Worthless Congratulations" »
www.thebitterblog.com - Congratulations Joey for writing another post! -
How many times have you been attracted to a woman and started down the path to wanting to ask the chick on a date only to find out that she is married, give up on the prospect of sex and move on to greener pastures? Well if you are a man with ...
Continue reading "Steps to sleeping with a married woman." »
www.thebitterblog.com - Marriage ain't nothing but a word -
As most teenagers, I was a horny little guy, at 13 I would you know masturbate about 10 times a day. My mom sat me down to tell me that it was OK to you know masturbate and that everyone did it from doctors to lawyers to priests. Reassurance from my mom that it was OK to you know masturbate took my hobby to a whole new level, what was the new level you ask well how about masturbating to The Muppets...
Continue reading "Miss Piggy Is The Hottest Muppet." »
www.thebitterblog.com - Miss Piggy is my kind of girl -
I have not had a roommate for 5 years (besides jenjen) and after this time I am considering a roommate to help bring down the costs of living....
Continue reading "Reasons Not To Have A Communal Condomn Bowl With Roomates." »
www.thebitterblog.com - Cookies are for cookies-
One thing about me is I love sex, I love to fuck around and since JenJen, I have been reaching a heightened level of sexual escapades...
Yes everybody I am alive and Paris Hilton is in Jail!
Continue reading "Paris Hilton Is In Jail And I Am A Working Comedian." »
One thing about me is I love to mess with people and there is no better place to do it than in the Public Washroom.
Here are some of my all-time favorite “plays” from messing with people in the ...
Continue reading "My All-Time Favorite Public Washroom Plays." »
www.thebitterblog.com - That Doesn’t Look Right -
Tags: Washroom Humor
I am 27, I am a man and 10 minutes of making out with any girl is more than enough for me!
I don’t care if you a stunner like Halle Berry or if you are packing heat like Vida Guerra ...
Continue reading "10 Minutes Of Making Out Is More Than Enough For Me." »
www.thebitterblog.com - 10-min Is More Than Enough -
Tags: Making Out Humor Vida Guerra Halle Berry 10-min
Have you watched “The Secret”? If not you better hurry and watch The Secret before it is not a ...
Continue reading "The Secret – What is this Secret everyone is talking about?" »
www.thebitterblog.com - The Secret Is Out -
Tags: The Secret Humor
www.thebitterblog.com - 210 would have made a better porn -
Tags: 300 Humor Movie Porn 210
Continue reading "300 Would Have Been Better As Porn Instead Of An Action." »
I watched 300 and I have to tell you that I was thoroughly disappointed and here is why ...
My biggest fear isn’t dieing, it isn’t public speaking and it certainly isn’t growing old alone. My biggest fear is not being ...
Continue reading "My Biggest Fear." »
www.thebitterblog.com - As long as I can keep fucking I am happy -
Tags: Sex Humor Fear My Biggest Fear Women Dieing
Before I begin this post I must state that Joey is not a racist! I mean Joey is a lot of things for example he is a slut, womanizer and does ...
Continue reading "QuarterBlack" »
www.thebitterblog.com - Used to play QuarterBlack in highschool -
Tags: Quarterblack Humor Half-Black
This is why I’m hot ...
Continue reading "This Is Why Im Hot" »
Tags: This Is Why Im Hot Humor Hot Creationism Heimlich Evangelical
Like most things I write about, I have given this a lot of thought: I want to be a fucking Caveman ...
Continue reading "I want to be a caveman." »
www.thebitterblog.com - As a caveman, I could balance a soccer ball on my head forever -
Tags: Caveman Humor Fucking Cavewomen Pornstar Cave
Now I love asians: Koreans, Japanese, Chinese ... I love them all. And unlike the majority of americans I recognize the difference between the different cultures...
Continue reading "Reason Number 43 Why I Love Asians!" »
www.thebitterblog.com - Peace, Love & Respect and Always Remember TBB Loves Asians -
Tags: Asians Humor Korean Japanese Learning English English
Aries Spears impersonation of Jayz, DMX, LL Cool J and Snoop Dogg. After seeing this I would even consider hooking up with him....
Continue reading "Aries Spears Rap impersonation - Jayz, DMX, LL Cool J, Snoop Dogg" »
www.thebitterblog.com - Aries Spears Gets TBB's Pimpspec -
Tags: Aries Spears Humor DMX Snoop Dogg Jayz LL Cool J
Joey has always been a playa, but even a playa’s game can get rusty if you let it. Even though I messed around on JenJen a lil’ bit I didn’t keep my pimp game as strong as I should have...
Continue reading "Dating Tips For The Newly Single." »
www.thebitterblog.com - I Can’t Stop Pimpin’ -
Tags: Single Humor Dating Pimp Freak Relationship
People at work, people in the club and people at my gym all need to read this shit!
For some men, bathroom protocol is obvious, for others protocol does not exist, so for all y’all that don’t know how to act in public washrooms here is The Bitter Blogs Male Bathroom Protocol...
Continue reading "Male Bathroom Protocol." »
www.thebitterblog.com - Joey doesn’t smack that, not in a public bathroom anyways -
Tags: BathroomHumor Washroom Smack Joey
Well, I have received lots of e-mail, wondering what is going on with Joey, where did Joey go, is Joey a daddy??? So I am back and I am going to tell you what’s been crackin’ ...
Continue reading "The Break-Up." »
www.thebitterblog.com - Joey ain’t your babies daddy -
Tags: BabyHumor Daddy Paternity Joey
Can someone please explain to me why overweight people find it necessary to wear the bare minimum amount of cloths during the summer? I for the life ...
Continue reading "Dear Fat People In The Summer, Please Keep Your Shirts On!" »
When you choose to set you morning alarm to a radio station you are gambling, you are gambling that the song you wake up too will not fuk with the ...
Continue reading "The Worst Song To Wake Up Too Presents: Lonestar - "Amazed"" »
I do not have any tattoos, nor do I plan on getting a tattoo. I do not have any tattoo's because not only am I too ridiculously good looking for a tattoo but I am also too ridiculously smart for a tattoo.
I do not ...
Continue reading "The Lower Back Tattoo, Upper Back Tattoo, Full Back Tattoo" »
Some characters in XMen are weird; they got peeps that have blades shooting out of their knuckles, chicks that can control the weather and some dude with giant bird wings jetting out of his back.
But some of the people that go to the theatre ...
Tom Hanks & The Da Vinci Code, all I have to say is Tom Hanks has got a huge head. His head is enormous, it is gigantic; in fact if Tom Hanks head was a watermelon, watermelon farmers would not sell it for food, they would enter it into the Worlds Fair ...
Continue reading "Tom Hanks And The Da Vinci Code." »
www.thebitterblog.com - Acromegaly Is No Laughing Matter -
Do you remember the first CD or Tape that you purchased? Do you remember the reasons for your purchase? Do you remember the other tapes that you were debating on whether or not to purchase? I do, and I am haunted ...
Continue reading "MC Hammer Or Wilson Phillips?" »
www.thebitterblog.com - Can’t Touch This -
Have you heard that Schools in the States now consider the phrase “that’s so gay” to be profanity? Kid’s will now get lines or detention when they use my all-time favorite phrase ...
Of late I have been getting my Yoga on, trying to relax the mind, searching for my inner peace, finding my Thi Chi, looking to meet some fly Yoga girls and trying to get away from my pregnant girl. I have had great success thus far: my mind is relaxed, I am at peace, ...
Continue reading "Advanced Yoga Positions, Yoga Postures & Yoga Poses 101" »
As many of you know, I am a struggling comedian waiting for my big break, I have been waiting now for 6 years or so. Over the past couple of months, I have come to ...
Continue reading "Katherine McPhee & Lindsay Lohan & The Wardrobe Malfunction." »
Since JenJen got herself pregnant and moved herself in, we have been sharing many things, including, but not limited to: my toothpaste, my ...
Continue reading "Perez Hilton, The Second Ugliest Computer Celebrity In The Universe." »
I am always amused when I hear guys talking about how hard it is to get laid, how all the easy women are nasty and how all hot girls are lesbians or just don’t put out ...
Continue reading "What Women Really Want, Explained By A PIMP" »
Sesame Street, we all watched it and we all loved it. Unless of course you were that family that was too poor to have cable or a TV, then you probably ...
Continue reading "Sesame Street." »
Tags: Sesame Street Natalie Portman Bert Ernie Cookie Monster Grimace Humor Blog
Since starting this crappy site back in December, some Maddox adoring idiots have had the audacity to say I am trying to be like him. Some of my favorites are ...
Since JenJen got herself pregnant, I have been nothing but on the grind trying to get my paper weight up, for all the slang deficit people, I have been trying to make more money. Three months ago, while ...
Continue reading "SteroTan, The Body Enhancer Of The Future." »
I have wanted to kick many people in the head, but unfortunately have only been lucky enough to kick a few. My first kick to the head was administered to a homeless dude that reached for my private zone, stupid ...
Continue reading "6 people that TheBitterBlog wants to kick in the head." »
Continue reading "The Bitter Blog's Chevy Tahoe Commercials." »
Now I am sure there are some ugly guys out there, but Jay-z has got be one of the ugliest mothas around.
In tribute to Jay-z’s ugliness here is my ...
Continue reading "The Jay-z Ugly Posse." »
Tags: Jay-z Ugly Posse Jay-z Posse Dogg Utah Humor Blog
I have been stalking women now for about 10 years and have been lovin’ every minute of it! I have stalked...
Continue reading "I Have Stalked, I Will Stalk & I Do Stalk." »
Tags: Stalk Stalker Mace Love Boyfriends Guns Humor Blog
Bow Wow may not be aware of this, but since he has dropped the Lil’ from his name, he has taken one step closer to going head to head against the infamous Bow Wow Wow, a popular ...
Continue reading "Bow Wow Wow Vs. Bow Wow." »
Tags: Album Bow Wow Songs Bow Wow Wow Ciara I Want Candy Dog Music Remix Humor Blog
I have been bothered by the following for quite sometime, I have no idea why a bladder is...
Continue reading "Why is it called a bladder?" »
Tags: Bladder Doctor Medical Bladder Professional Humor Blog
thebitterblog.com - Not Your Everyday Blog -
Today at work, while on a conference call with clients in Venezuela, I came to the realization that I am a Young Hispanic Male trapped inside a Skinny White Boys body.
I know what you are thinking, “Joey you are a good-looking white boy, you are truly blessed, do you know how many ugly Hispanic males would ...
Continue reading "Joey, The Young Hispanic Male Trapped Inside A Skinny White Boys Body." »
Tags: White Boy Latin Fidel Castro Spanish Messenger HI5 Orkut Hispanic Humor Blog
Today I realized that I interact with a lot of ...
Before JenJen got pregnant, she was an alcoholic; before JenJen was an alcoholic, she was 13. When I started dating JenJen, she was 18 and I was 25, I slowly noticed that she had a...
Continue reading "Signs That Your Girlfriend Is An Alcoholic." »
Tags: Alcoholic Vodka Red Bull Grey Goose Girlfriend Humor Blog
Over the past couple of month’s intimacy with my girlfriend Jenny, has become quite mundane. It started off like, ka-pow, but has turned into blah. Even the fact that she is 7 years younger...
Continue reading "Sex + Girlfriend = Boring, Boring + Debt = Baby." »
Tags: Daddy Baby Student Pregnant Girlfriend Humor Blog Father Diapers
If I was put in a situation where I was forced to lose my man-to-man virginity, for example, the only way I could save someone that I loved was to make love with another man, then these are the men that I would want to do.
Continue reading "These are the men that I would have sex with." »
Tags: Men Hasselhoff Knight Rider GI-Joe A-Team Cameron Diaz Bill Gates Brian Mcknight John Stamos Music Humor Blog
I do not understand the hardcore gamer, nor do I have the capacity to try, but what I do have, is the ability to pick one out in a crowd.
Throughout my life I have been placed in contact with many gamers and have identified the key traits that separate the hardcore gamers from the gamers...
Continue reading "How To Identify A Hardcore Gamer." »
Tags: Gamer Hardcore Gamer Games How To Identity Hardcore Gamers Humor Blog
Continue reading "How To Determine If Your Skinny Girl Will Stay Skinny." »
Tags: Skinny Girl Fat Ass Boy George Humor Kirsty Alley Heroin Tupac Skinny Girl Stay Skinny
For all the straight men out there, when you talk about your significant other to friends, co-workers or family, do you use her name or do you use her title: girlfriend, fiancé or wife?
If you find yourself always using her title instead of her name, then you may have a common social disorder called Acphillisis Studmata.
Now don’t freak out because...
Continue reading "Do You Have The Girlfriend / Fiancé / Wife Disorder?" »
Throughout my entire life I have tried to be a little more thug, a little more gangsta, a little more 2Pac.
Continue reading "Going Gangsta." »
Tags: Gangsta Grillz Paul Wall Humor Grills 2Pac Tupac Bling Rap Music
First off, what the fuck are these guys doing performing live at the super bowl, let alone still living. Shouldn't they be dead by now? Or at least close to death? I mean come on it is 2006, these grandpas released their first album in 1964, that’s over 42 years ago for all you math deficient people.
Watching these old timers on stage was painful. Wasn’t anyone else worried that Mick...
Continue reading "Rolling Stones, what are they still doing alive?" »
Below is some helpful criticism that some of you have so kindly shared:
Continue reading "Why I Do Not Write Like An English Major." »
Every girlfriend I have ever had has been an After School Special.
Girlfriend #2 was a kleptomaniac. She had a tendency to steal shit. She stole my heart, my money and my clothes. I didn’t toss that bitch to the curb until after I caught her stealing my doms which she was using with one of my friends, thanks Rob you were such a good friend.
Girlfriend #4 was clinically depressed. This girl was...
Before Marca Bavaria commercials hit North America, before Snoop and Pharell filmed “Beatiful” in Rio, and even before Barry Manilow’s Copacabana, I have wanted to be Brasilian.
Brasil has the worlds best soccer team, great beaches and beautiful weather, but these reasons alone do not make me want to be Brasilian. The women are what make me want to be Brasilian.
Brasils greatest natural resource is their...
Continue reading "Brasilian." »
Tags: Brasilians Brasil women Brasilian Women Brazilian Women Brazil
I watched Bareback / Brokeback Mountain with a girl, who is my girlfriend, who I have ...
Continue reading "6 Takeaways From Bareback / Brokeback Mountain" »
Here is my situation, I work with some fucked up people that do some fucked up shit in the washrooms.
I work with non-hand washers, stand-up toilet seat down pee-ers, pre-flush 1’ers and 2’ers with no exit flush and the ever so elusive stand-up...
What is the first thing that comes to mind when you look at the picture below?
