People at work, people in the club and people at my gym all need to read this shit!

For some men, bathroom protocol is obvious, for others protocol does not exist, so for all y’all that don’t know how to act in public washrooms here is The Bitter Blogs Male Bathroom Protocol:

No Talking During The Exit Of Bodily Fluids - Y’all pee talkers, I know y'all will find it hard to follow this one but this is a must. I don’t want to see your penis and I don’t want you looking at mine, I am not sure about you but when people talk to me I have a habit of looking at them, and with my peripherals I don’t even need to be looking at you to catch a glimpse of your pee-pee or to see you looking at mine, keep it straight ahead and get me at the sink!

No Smacking – That’s right no smacking of any kind, that goes for no smacking me, others and yourself. If you see me at the urinal please refrain from smacking my shoulder to congratulate me on the presentation I just gave, it could cause me to lock up mid-stream and heaven forbid I get a urinary tract infection. Also there is never a need to smack yourself, so let’s keep our public washrooms smack free! A shake or 2 works just fine.

Guard Your Package – If you at a urinal guard your shit, again it is with the peripherals, I do not got to be looking at you to catch a glimpse of your joe-joe. So if you at the urinal use the 2-handed hold, even if you don’t need it like Joey does, the 2-handed hold will enforce protection from others peripherals, no 1-handed holds with the other hand behind the back and shoulder lean, alright, fuck the shoulder lean!

No Stand-up Urinating At A Tiolet – Now why the hell would a straight guy use a toilet to piss in instead of a urinal? The only thing I can think of is they could have a herpe outbreak, small peeper or enjoy the satisfaction of hearing running water. Whatever the reason is it does not overwrite the wrongness of pee splatter all over a toilet when someone needs to hit it for a 2, keep it real and have a seat!

Did I miss any?

www.thebitterblog.com - Joey doesn’t smack that, not in a public bathroom anyways -

Tags: BathroomHumor Washroom Smack Joey

www.thebitterblog.com - Joey doesn’t smack that, not in a public bathroom anyways -

Tags: BathroomHumor Washroom Smack Joey

Posted by Bitter Guy at 08:20 AM | Permalink | Comments (3)

The Break-Up.

Well, I have received lots of e-mail, wondering what is going on with Joey, where did Joey go, is Joey a daddy??? So I am back and I am going to tell you what’s been crackin’.

Joey and JenJen are no more, that’s right we done and here is how it went down:

August 30th - JenJen had Joey’s baby, a little baby boy ready to ride for Joey’s cause whenever Joey called, Joey was a proud father.

September 5th – Joey’s family comment on how the little Joey kinda looks latino and how fat his head is, this sticks with Joey.

September 20th – Joey get’s a paternity test done on his little baby boy while JenJen is out with her friends.

September 25th – Results are in and it turns out little Joey isn’t really little Joey at all, as it turns out little Joey is really little Antonio from the apartment down the street, fuck you Antonio.

September 25th – Joey packs up all his shit and moves to his buddies place temporarily before getting his new pimped out condo.

October 10th: – Joey is back in the single game, shaked off the responsibilities of being a father, just bought a ridiculously huge TV and now is looking to chase his dream of being a writer / comedian and of course have sex with as many women as possible before being a daddy again.

Expect some real live shit over the next month, I realize this lacked the comedic genius that I usually bring to the table, but this shit was the truth and sometimes it is just hard to make the truth funny.

www.thebitterblog.com - Joey ain’t your babies daddy -

Tags: BabyHumor Daddy Paternity Joey

www.thebitterblog.com - Joey ain’t your babies daddy -

Tags: BabyHumor Daddy Paternity Joey

Posted by Bitter Guy at 05:55 AM | Permalink | Comments (4)