Dear Inventor Of The Work Week,

Today I am 8-hours closer to death because of you. Why is it that you invented the work week? Did you hate life so much that you had to ruin it by making everybody work? Did your mother not pay enough attention to you as a child? Did you not have a mother?

I can only guess what could make a person so mental, that they would think it to be a good idea to create a society where people spend the majority of their life trading time for money instead of collecting bananas on a beach in their coconut thong mating with their beach girl 4 times a day.

Inventor of the work week I have some questions for you:

Why did you pick 5-days a week? Why not a 2-day work week & a 5-day weekend? Did you not have any friends to hang out with on the weekend?

Why is the work day 8-hours a day? Could you not have picked 2 or 3 hours? Did you have to pick 8? Were you afraid that if people actually had time to enjoy their life that they would not want to show up to work?

Was it your idea or someone else’s to not pay workers for traveling to and from work? This was very smart workday inventor, good one, touché.

Was it your idea to pay workers just enough to keep them happy but not enough to stop coming to work before they turn 60? What kind of fun stuff can I do when I am 60? I want to sex models now, in my prime, not when I am 60.

Last but not least, workday inventor why do I have to buy my own breakfast and lunch? You see workday inventor, why should I pay for food that will give me energy to complete my stupid tasks at my stupid job? Can you please enlighten me?