When you choose to set you morning alarm to a radio station you are gambling, you are gambling that the song you wake up too will not fuk with the rest of your day. I have hedged my bets by setting my alarm clock to an easy listening station that regularly plays soft Celine Dione & Elton John classics that can just set the day off so nicely (I love you Celine).

This morning I woke up to Lonestar – Amazed & I am amazed at how much it has made me want to punch every fuker I have come in contact with today.

First off I think this is one of those few country songs that actually makes country suck even harder, now that is amazing!

If you are half-retarded & have not heard the song before, pretend like you are just waking up and press play on the video below to get into the same mood I am in right now.

Why does this song suck so hard? Because …

My Girlfriend Is Pregnant: yes she is pregnant & this song reminds me of how screwed I am, reason #1 for sucking.

Lyric – “I Am So In Love With You”: reminds me of how screwed I am getting JenJen pregnant, reason #2 for sucking the cucumber!

Lyric – “I don’t know how you do what you do”: is a really crappy lyric to wake up too, reason #3 for sucking the small one!

Lyric – “I want to spend the rest of my life, with you by my side, forever & ever”: enrages me & makes me want to cry both at the same time, reason #4 for it’s suckage.

I hate it: reason #5 for sucking!

The good thing is whenever I do get a song like “Amazed” stuck in my head I go to my back-up cleansing song, “Don't Worry Be Happy” by Bobby Mc Ferrin. “Don’t Worry Be Happy” is one of the greatest cleansing songs of all time!

PS. Does anyone else know why he is not wearing any shoes in some parts of his video?

www.thebitterblog.com - Don’t Worry, Be Happy, I will give you my phone number when you worry, call me, I make you happy -

Tags: Lonestar Humor Amazed music Song Radio

Posted by Bitter Guy at 01:35 AM | Permalink | Comments (4)

I don’t eat pork. I am not muslim but I choose not to eat pork. Why? Because pork sucks, it is the devil food. I am not saying that if you eat pork you are the devil, but what I am saying is that if you are a devil you eat pork.

Now why is it that pork is the devils food? Well it goes back to the old testament: "And the swine, because it divideth the hoof, yet cheweth not the cud, it is unclean unto you: ye shall not eat of their flesh, nor touch their dead carcase." Deuteronomy 14:8

Toxins: A pigs body contains many toxins, worms & stuff, that is reason alone for me to not want to eat the swine, conclusion Pig is the devils food.

Pigs Eat Pigs: Any animal that is not smart enough to not eat its own kind, is not smart enough for me to eat it, conclusion Pigs suck & are the food of the devil.

Pork Leads To Obesity: It has been proven that Pork leads to obesity, I suspect that Devils are fat, conclusion Pork is the devils food.

Pig Meat Tastes Like Human Meat: It is a well known fact that Pig meat is very similar to human meat, & it has been said to taste very similar to human meat, now I don’t know about you but I find that very messed, I would not eat human bacon so I do not eat pig bacon, you stick with your swine sausages & I will stick with my turkey sausages, conclusion anyone that loves Pork is a step away from cannibalism.

So all you Pork eaters the picture below is for you:




And just a little more food for thought the next time you sit down to enjoy your favorite dish of “bacon wrapped scallops”, just remember that scallops are the Pork of the sea:




www.thebitterblog.com - Scallops Are The Pork Of The Sea -

Tags: Pork Humor Devil Scallop Bacon Pig

Tags: Pork Humor Devil Scallop Bacon Pig

Posted by Bitter Guy at 08:48 AM | Permalink | Comments (1)