XMen 3
Some characters in XMen are weird; they got peeps that have blades shooting out of their knuckles, chicks that can control the weather and some dude with giant bird wings jetting out of his back.
But some of the people that go to the theatre to watch XMen 3 on a Saturday night are even weirder; dudes talking about how the movie Labyrinth kicks ass, dudes that get excited over seeing the “Ghost Rider” preview (another Marvel Comic Movie) that they uncontrollably scream in anticipation and dudes that find it necessary to recite lines from the Simpsons for example yelling “Booourns” in disapproval of a preview & “Family Guy” by violently repeating “Giggity Giggity”, it is funny when Quagmire says it but not when a 24 year old in his Spidy outfit does.
Now I am not going to make fun of XMen fans, because not all of them are dorks, but for those that are, in the theatre when you talk, talk quietly instead of yelling, this way no one else can hear your conversations. If we others cannot hear you talk, then we others cannot know for sure that you are an idiot, we can only assume that by your attire, aka your Spidy shirt.
The dorks, aren’t what bothered me the most about XMen III, what bothered me the most was how stupid some of the mutant powers were, here are two examples.
- The Human Porcupine aka Quill aka Useless Mutant Power: “his sharp quills pop out of his skin when ready to fight”. Careful now, don’t piss off the porcupine, his quills will expose themselves, aooohhhhhh. What a useless mutant power, I figure that any mutant power that can’t defend you from a dude with a bat is a mutant power that isn’t really worth having. Conclusion having quills is a useless mutant power.
- The Human Bird aka Angel aka Useless Mutant Power: “his wings span 16-feet”, aaoooohhhh, his wings span 16-feet. Now what is a wing span of 16-feet supposed to do? Scare me? Is wing man going to fan me to death? If all a mutant can do is fly & needs 8-feet wings to do it then the power isn’t really worth having. Conclusion, having a 8-foot wing span is a useless mutant power.
- The Human Bird aka Angel aka Useless Mutant Power: “his wings span 16-feet”, aaoooohhhh, his wings span 16-feet. Now what is a wing span of 16-feet supposed to do? Scare me? Is wing man going to fan me to death? If all a mutant can do is fly & needs 8-feet wings to do it then the power isn’t really worth having. Conclusion, having a 8-foot wing span is a useless mutant power.
Imagine how boring it would be to watch Quills & Angel fight, it would almost be as boring as watching X-Men 3 with JenJen.
Want to know what my useless power would be? I would be giant butt, “come close to me & I sit on you”!!!
www.thebitterblog.com - More Useful Than A 16-foot Wing Span Or A Face Full Of Quills -
Tags: X-men Quills Angel Mutant Xmen 3 porcupine
Comments
True, Quills sucks. But I will have to respectfully disagree with you on Angel (a little bit).
Yes, Angel is basically lame. Which is why he was changed to The Archangel, and adding new powers and junk to him all the time.
Not that it really matters since it's just a movie. I just wish all the dweebs out there would quit bitching about Gambit not being in the movies. News Flash: Gambit is gay too.
Posted by: Rene Merced Jr | May 30, 2006 05:50 PM
Yeah and another thing is that theres something familiar about you. Oh yeah its that your gay and you should probably do everyone a favor and die. Email me at Jager2040@yahoo.com so I can tell you how gay you are Joey.
Posted by: Anonymous | May 31, 2006 01:47 AM
From the point of view of the storyline, mutant abilities don't have to be cool and battle-ready--they are simply evolutionary steps. A small, hairless boy who temporarily negates mutant powers near him isn't really a glitzy fighter-character either, but its the combination of what humans do with him that is interesting, and forms the basis of the big battle sequence. Angel saves his father, thus causing him to rethink his stance on mutant powers--an emotional epiphany for his character.
I wouldn't be surprised if Quill could fire his quills at will too. Although I'm not sure whether it was demonstrated in the movie.
Posted by: Somacandra | June 3, 2006 04:32 PM
Hey guess what your gay Joey.
Posted by: Anonymous | June 5, 2006 11:40 PM
Hey guess again your really gay.
Posted by: Anonymous | June 5, 2006 11:40 PM
Nothing wrong with being gay...
Posted by: Kells | June 6, 2006 02:48 PM
I dont think joey is all that bad... i think anonymous is just a little jealous of joey cus he got such a cool blog.
u go joey, u the man.
Posted by: Anonymous | June 7, 2006 07:16 AM
i bet quills cud kick ur ass with a bat, no? tell me im wrong? if he were real, which im not advocating that he is, but could u beat him if u got in a fight with him? exactly.. shutup.
Posted by: Lickmyballs | June 8, 2006 05:53 PM
I don't know if you're just being sarcastic, cynical, honest, none of the above or all of the above, but hey, you're funny.
That said, what's with being gay and the immature guy that said it? I mean, come on guys, why bash someone because of their opinion?
Anyway, I wished Angel could have some other power too, he's rather useless in my opinion. Although I wouldn't mind being Quill once in a while. Then I can be really immature and sulk somewhere and say "Leave me alone" with 90% probability of people doing just that.
Posted by: Kaurin | June 11, 2006 09:11 AM
Just because yourea mutant doesn't require you tohave amazing powers, its to show that you are different from most humans like having wings or the capability to things with your mind.
Posted by: James | October 3, 2006 03:49 AM
Joey,
I'm a mutant. I have many special skills and abilities:
I can get my heart ripped out and stomped on by women I fall in love with, I don't even have to try. When I'm in love I'm like a dog that would jump off a cruise ship in the middle of the Atlantic to get the stick my owner threw overboard off the portside from the swimming deck.
When I kiss one of my girlfriends I can tell if she's been making out with someone else. I immediately assume she's choked down his kielbasa so I move her down there as quickly as possible then "accidentally" finish then act real tired and leave and call a week later saying I got herpes and how the hell did that happen? (two birds with one stone).
If I drink enough Gin I can stay hard for hours but with fat chicks my pelvis really hurts the next morning so it's a double-edged sword.
I can wash my sheets and re-make my bed in one hour flat. I've become a sensei of passenger seat hair removal (all colors) and checking the bathroom for tampon wrappers in the trash, hair pins, earrings, and other feminine items stashed anywhere as "markers" for other women.
Alas, I cannot read minds like Professor Xavier...
Posted by: Eric | January 13, 2007 04:55 PM