The Bitter Blog: Advanced Yoga Positions, Yoga Postures & Yoga Poses 101

Of late I have been getting my Yoga on, trying to relax the mind, searching for my inner peace, finding my Thi Chi, looking to meet some fly Yoga girls and trying to get away from my pregnant girl. I have had great success thus far: my mind is relaxed, I am at peace, my Thi Chi is through the roof, have hooked up the digits of women that actually look good in Yoga pants (unlike JenJen) and I get 2hrs away from the girl everyday, so I guess you could say life is good.

So what’s gotten me addicted to Yoga?

Hot Yoga: this Yoga’s so hot the Buddha’s didn’t know what else to call it but Hot Yoga. Imagine being in a class with your shirt off and in your Male Lululemon Yoga shorts, filled with a bunch of beautiful women that are barely dressed, sweating like crazy all doing the Downward Facing Dog Pose, I be loving that crazy Dog Pose.

Upward Facing Dog Posture: the only thing better than the Downward Facing Dog Posture is the Upward Facing Dog Posture. I like to sit in the back of the class, all because of the Upward Facing Dog Position, not only is it a great stretch but it is a great position.

Yoga Pants: Yoga pants, like Lululemon, are really great when they are worn for what they are meant for, Yoga. I get no greater sense of pleasure than when I see Lululemons being worn for what they are meant for, Yoga. Maybe that should be a new rule, if a girl can’t do Yoga, then she should not be allowed to wear Lululemon Yoga pants.

Flexibility: Yoga has given me mad flexibility skills, I can now, with ease, position my legs behind my head. I can personally tell you that JenJen is enjoying my newly found flexibility and she is lovin’ it!

The Yoga Life: the mats, the water, the Yoga pants, the lifestyle, the feeling you get when you tell your friends that you can’t hang because you have Yoga class, has all gotten me addicted to Yoga.

Essentially I am addicted to Yoga, but I am fine with that because anything is better than hanging out with a pregnant girl that is carrying your baby.

thebitterblog.com - Getting Yogafied One Day At A Time -

Tags: Yoga Postures Positions Pose Yoga Pants Lululemon

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Comments

I like to do Yoga sometimes.

And by "do" I mean "Punch the sh*t out of" , and by "Yoga", I mean "Kittens"

Posted by: Kells | May 13, 2006 12:27 AM

I am not that big of a yoga fan, I dont think it really works.

Posted by: James | May 13, 2006 07:24 PM

You're not really living up to the name of your blog. Less Yoga, more bitterness.

Posted by: more bitter than you | May 15, 2006 04:31 PM

You're not bitter, just cranky.

Posted by: Taco | May 17, 2006 06:39 PM

this blog is gay.

Posted by: deadpanann | May 29, 2006 02:05 PM

By "this blog" I meant you, and by "is gay" I meant sucks balls.

Posted by: deadpanann | May 29, 2006 02:07 PM

hahaha, good one deadpanann, but it probably would have been funnier if you didn't link in ur shiatty little blog, nobody wants to read ur crap.

Posted by: Eric. | May 29, 2006 03:55 PM

This is what a real bitter blog looks like.

[url]http://bitterman.journalspace.com[/url]

Posted by: Sam | July 9, 2006 11:55 PM

if by bitter you mean crap then you are correct your site is a real bitter blog...

this is the only bitter blog on the net... i run shiat here!

Posted by: Joey | July 10, 2006 12:50 AM

If you don't think yoga works you haven't tried it!

Posted by: Lululemon Fan | March 18, 2007 03:26 AM

Amen! I get no greater displeasure than seeing some chick stuffing her beer belly into a pair of Lululemon yoga pants, sucking on a cigarette at the bus stop.

Posted by: Mimoo | September 12, 2007 02:59 AM

Dude you got some problems. Quite honestly it seems like you have something that died up your ass. JenJen, needs you. I guess you don't have the balls to step it up.

Way to go Captin'

Posted by: Robert | September 13, 2007 05:25 PM

Posted by: Robert | September 13, 2007 05:26 PM

Bitter Guy....i think you might want to consider jumping in front of a moving bus. Your talking about getting a girl pregnant and pretty much cheating on her.... I understand women can nag. Thats for sure. But if your so annoying with her and you decide to take up Yoga to get away from her for 2 hours. You must really be getting a yeast infection. At least your supporting her....sort of.

Way to step it up dipshit

Posted by: Robert | September 13, 2007 08:17 PM

It seems that something has crawled up your ass and died. You remind me of someone who would always sleep with their mom when they were little. And I bet you have never been laid in your life because if your writting on a yoga site your a fucking FAGGOT!!! I wouldn't touch you with a ten foot pole you sad excuse for a life. Goog luck with the pretend pregnant girlfriend!!!
You seem like the type that would lather honey all over their mom and lick it off like a fucking toosie pop you stupid dick weed. Don't fall asleep tonight cuz i am gunna slice ur fucking balls off if u have any....ass fucker.

Posted by: Morgan | September 21, 2007 05:21 PM