Sex + Girlfriend = Boring, Boring + Debt = Baby.
Over the past couple of month’s intimacy with my girlfriend Jenny, has become quite mundane. It started off like, ka-pow, but has turned into blah. Even the fact that she is 7 years younger no longer makes me want her.
Last week I had decided it was over, but before I hit her with the breakup sh@t, she hit me with the “Joey, I am pregnant” sh@t.
At first, I was like whatever go get it taken care of JenJen, JenJen is my little pet name for her, but noooo she is too good for an abortion, and then some bullsh@t about her parents being religious and that we should get married. Now if you know anything about me, you know that I am not ready to be a father, I mean come on I write about guys that I would get with, not to mention my ongoing debt. I am 26 but have the maturity level of an 18 year old, with loans coming out of my a@@, how am I going to be a daddy? So it got me thinking, there has got to be a book out there about this becoming a daddy thing, and guess what there bloody well is, “Becoming A Dad: A Spiritual, Emotional And Practical Guide”.
Now this book costs 10$ at amazon.com but unfortunately I got no funds to buy it and do not want to take out anymore loans or line of credit. So I started to think of how I was going to raise money for my new baby, first thought was to go panhandle on the street but second thought was to panhandle on this site, so that is what I am doing, thebitterblog is panhandling. If you haven’t noticed, I have made it easy to donate to my cause on paypal, and have started panhandling, but like any good panhandler I offer a service, and that service is that I will write articles that entertain. That’s right; I am going to be stepping up my game, to write bigger, badder and funnier, as if my own baby’s future depended on it, because it kind of does. I will update the running total as I get closer to my goal of 10$, let's keep Joey out of the military and get him changing some baby diapers.
thebitterblog.com -The Bitterest Blog On The Net-
Tags: Daddy Debt Baby Student Pregnant Girlfriend Humor Blog Father Diapers
Comments
Joey ur screwed, you better get that girl to get an abortion or hope she has a miscarrage... good luck with getting that book.
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I am punching her stomach as we speak....
thebitterblog.com -The Bitterest Blog On The Net-
Posted by: Jesse | March 9, 2006 06:13 PM
hey Joey why don't you just through it in her a@@...hard to get pregnant that way.
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thanks for the tip but I still prefer to mix it up every once and a while.
thebitterblog.com -The Bitterest Blog On The Net-
Posted by: Alec | March 9, 2006 10:53 PM
if you don't want to be there then don't you will be doing the wanna be wife, the child and yourself 3x more misery than if you stay...don't focus on getting rid of the child because the wanna be wife will go against the grain...i have two beautiful daughters.
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if i let her keep drinkin, I might get lucky & she will lose it... we can only pray...
thebitterblog.com -The Bitterest Blog On The Net-
Posted by: veronica | March 14, 2006 11:03 PM
25 year old boy coming onto an 18 year old girl ? are you that same guy who hung out with seventh graders when you were 16? I think I remember you from the play ground- good thing she drinks that way she can't see you for what you really are
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fuckin rites i was... it was so easy back then, almost as easy as it is rite now... dont hate the playa hate the game.
thebitterblog.com -The Bitterest Blog On The Net-
Posted by: some guy | March 21, 2006 10:27 PM
Oh dear! How do you guys get trapped like this - I always hear these cr@p stories - sly women. But then again WTF - condom duude.
Posted by: evenmore bitterthanu | March 24, 2006 11:06 AM
If she drinks as much as you say she does, don't worry about it. She'll soon go back to drinking and the abortion will take care of itself. Must be gods way of saying 'some people shouldn't be parents' ;)
Posted by: Andyk | March 25, 2006 12:58 AM
Should have thought of that before you had unprotected sex. Time to grow up and take responsibility for what you have done. I cannot believe you would want to kill this child. Racist, abuser and murderer to boot...hmmmmm...
Posted by: Anonymous | August 12, 2006 11:38 AM
Snakes with tits
Posted by: sean | February 8, 2007 08:28 PM