Below is some helpful criticism that some of you have so kindly shared:

1. ”What shitty writing”
   
2. ”You are kind of funny but your writing needs improvement”
   
3. ”Are you a retard? Because you write like one”
   

1. I grew up in a town where Totem Poles outnumbered people.
   
2. In my high-school popularity was not attained by being smart, popularity was determined by how many beer cans one could crush with their skull and how hard one could head-butt a sign. I was an all-star sign head-butter, an all-American at the very least that is until I sustained a career ending concussion.
   
3. The only thing I read in high-school and university were the labels on beer to make sure I wasn’t drinking the “Light” version. Who the fuck wants to drink Bud Light?
   
4. My idol is Usher, and Usher cannot read, so I learned not to read. I am currently getting fat and hooking up with my stylist to stay in step with my idol, I love you Usher you the man for real I will follow whatever path you travel.
   
5. My final reason for not writing like an English Major is because I am not an English Major. I went to University to drink, fornicate and commit minor felonies. I did not go to school to become a writer or to re-learn how to read, I mean come on Usher doesn’t read and look how good he can sing.