Here is my situation, I work with some fucked up people that do some fucked up shit in the washrooms.

I work with non-hand washers, stand-up toilet seat down pee-ers, pre-flush 1’ers and 2’ers with no exit flush and the ever so elusive stand-up 2’er that hits the seat every so often.

Now I do not like to talk about what goes on in the washroom, in fact I do not even talk in the washroom, but what I have witnessed over the past 2 years has gotten to the point that I have to share my story.

In particular I would like to talk about one gentleman, let’s call him Shittyhands. Shittyhands has by far racked up the most offenses over the years and is deserving of this posts attention.

Here are the protocols that Shittyhands follows in the bathroom:

1. Will wash hands if someone else is washing their hands or else he heads straight for the door.
   
2. Will never use a urinal, Shittyhands prefers the stand-up, toilet seat down approach with the pre-flush and no exit flush.
   
3. Shittyhands also employs the pre-flush with no exit flush for 2’s.
   

Shittyhands I ask you:

1. Do you follow the same bathroom protocol at your home?
   
2. What is wrong with you Shittyhands? Why can’t you be normal?
   
3. Shittyhands, people you work with are talking and slowly more and more people are learning the ways of Shittyhands, is this good for your career?
   

And finally Shittyhands, I am apologize if you have some illness that prevents you from using the facilities properly, ie. external bladder, but I do not believe that there is any credible excuse to shit on the seat, so please, please stop doing that. Thanks!

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Tags: washrooms work no flush urinal